Coz you need to ‘see’; all taken with the Nikon Z 6 with a Nikon Z 24-70mm f/5 S lens
Day 16: Photos from around the house
Day 14: Essential skin-care
I can’t remember when I started taking care of my skin, but it would obviously have to be when i would have started earning some money. Skin-care costs. Before the lock-down, I had to double check if I had enough to last the month. I go through a lot of brands simply because I can see (and feel) my skin changing all the time and I need to be able to use products that would address those changes. Trying out a lot of products also gives you first-hand knowledge of what to use.
But there are two things that remain the same; 1) I always use sun-screen and 2) I NEVER fail to clean my face and put on some product before I go to bed.
Only recently, I have added to my regimen, an eye cream, a serum and a facial oil. I also avoid washing my face too often, or using hot water to wash my face. A big help would also have to be the habit of drinking a lot of water which I used to hate (drank lots of coffee instead). And proper sleep- a full 8 hours or more, also helps.
I currently use a lot of Khiel’s products simply because they work (Rare Earth Pore Minimising lotion, Youth Dose Eye Treatment, Oil Eliminator Shine Control Toner and the Ultra Light Daily UV Defense Gel). I augment these with Neutrogena’s Rapid Wrinkle Repair serum and its Hydro-Boost Night Concentrate, alternating it on some nights with Revitalift Night Cream by LOreal.
If I see specials at the supermarket (anything under $15) like facial oils, I’d get them. Though the years, there have been more than a few that didn't quite work (and trust me I know because I look at my face closely everyday) which you can tell just by sight or feel. Oil of Olay for one and all of its variants has never really worked but I never threw them away or chucked them in a cabinet. I use them on my neck for example or my butt- yes my butt. At the end of the day, they still have skin-improving qualities so it doesn't matter what skin it is you’re using it on.
I first heard about the brand The Ordinary when its founder, Brandon Truaxe committed suicide by throwing himself off his Toronto apartment. Deciem, the company he founded calls itself the ‘abnormal beauty company’ and has the lofty self-description of ‘clinical formulations with integrity’.
Basically most of the products only contain one active ingredient and the company doesn't do traditional marketing and advertising. In Truaxe’s own words: “beauty products as they’ve been traditionally sold and marketed are just a bunch of fluff being created, a bunch of fluff being bought, and a bunch of fluff being sold.”
I bought Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1% (high strength vitamin and mineral blemish formula because I think I’ve congested my skin with far too much use of sun-screen); Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 (hydration support with ultra-pure vegan Hyaluronic Acid); and the Caffeine Solution 5% for my eyes. Total cost= $48. In comparison, my Khiel’s eye-cream is $65 for just 15ml.
For some of us, coming out of this lockdown looking physically good as ever, is part and parcel of maximising all the time you’ve had at home.
What to do in the time of pandemics?
Just stay at home really and probably not spend too much money. Maybe we need this. Maybe this is the (soft) reset humanity needs to see exactly what its priorities are. And I believe these are mine, or at least something better to do than twiddling your thumbs.
Toni is 19 and in the blink of an eye, I'll be 50
I should be panicking but it’s not my birthday. And I never panic- not over stuff like aging or climate change anyway. I panic when I can’t decide between last year’s Ultraboost 19 at $100 off or this year’s edition in the cloud white variant. I panic when I can’t have bacon next Saturday because I had bacon two weeks ago. I feel that the world is ending, but I know that it would wobble along for quite a few decades along still and while I don’t give a fuck what happens to me, I have this ache in the pit of my chest, for my sibling’s children and their children at what they’re going to face.
But what can we do?
Well, let’s celebrate for as long as there’s someone to continue the family line, we’ll do everything in our power to ensure that they get far in life, achieve their dreams, find happiness and more importantly, become kind and compassionate people.
Saturday
I tried out the DJI Mavic Mini for the 1st time today and I felt anxious.
What is it about driving- whether it be a car or a damned drone- that makes me anxious?
The long weekend
Something is wrong with my wrist. It feels like something in it is broken, pinched or both. I don’t even remember having a moment when I may have injured it.
I could lift a dumbbell and do push-ups, but the motion of brushing my teeth or drying my back with a towel, hand bent backwards, hurts. I’m seeing my GP anyway next week so I’ve been advised to have it logged and if I need an X-ray or a specialist then hopefully, he’ll recommend something.
So lately, I’ve been trying to use my left hand more. I figured that why should we agonise over something that’s broken when we have a perfectly okay alternative? Well…it’s harder than you think 😂.
Movements you take for granted such as brushing your teeth, vacuuming or peeling an apple become a struggle for precision with your non-dominant hand. I know it’s wired, but if it’s your own brain, can you really not crack it?
#StillTrying
It's like Christmas!
I mean work bought it, but still…
The Nikon Z6
Hooked on images
I’m so dependent on images to prompt me to write something that unable to find anything suitable, I can’t seem to think of anything to write. It’s like being physically blind.
Reading back on my diary entries, I also struggle to remember the context of something I had written. My mind’s eye tries to picture those visual triggers and unable to recall them, it seems like I’m reading a stranger’s thoughts. This is serious, no?
Starting tomorrow- NO PHOTOS for blog entries. For as long as I can.
You need to walk untethered, like you used to.
You have to be fit
Your clothes are sorted; your schedule is tight; you’ve brought great lunches (and bringing home your lunch box everyday instead of leaving it at the office). You’re holding steady..but you feel like shit. And it’s nothing major (you hope not), like an oncoming stroke, or God forbid, some heart problem (you never know).
You just feel like blah.
And meh.
You go for a run and feel slightly better, but it seems that you need more, so much more.
The Morning Routine
In an ideal world, my perfect morning would be:
1. Waking up at 4:30am perfectly refreshed
2. A light, 5 minute stretch and a drink of lukewam, distilled water
3. Brewing myself a cup of black coffee I relax in the lounge..
4. ..while I read the NY Times…
5. At 5:30, doing four sets of push-ups and dumb-bell presses before..
6. Having a shower, followed by..
7. ..a 15-minute facial prepping…
8. Then off to work, 15 minutes ahead of everyone else
But in reality, this morning was like
1. Snoozing the alarm when it went off at 5:30. I had this awful dream where I went on the ferry without paying.
2. Coffee in the lounge, with a quick scan of the NY Times before being distracted by Instagram (I still have our company account which I’ve created and maintain).
3. Taking too long doing facial prepping and forgetting we needed to get out of the house at 6:30
4. Taking the train and thinking of breaking this awful morning routine by having a small breakfast at Burger King, writing a blog post and being creative and shit.
5. Arrived at Burger King and it was closed- it apparently opens at 7am.
6. 7am comes and the goddamned fucking store is still closed, so I just left.
Start of the working week
We have to eat, pay our mortgage, prepare for retirement, buy another $5,000 Apple product 😅.
I had to clear about 160+ emails from one work email address alone so I thought it best to avoid the back-to-work-gossip-catch-up fest by working from home on Monday. And while working, I managed to click on a site showing what the the Year of the Rat was going to be like. I was avoiding this, pretending that a decade hadn’t actually passed but then I saw that the start of the decade was heralded by the rat sign- MY SIGN!
I’m not into specifics (you will find great fortune this year) or abstractions (this year will find you more lucid and open) but I’ll gladly take positivity and put it into my head. There is nothing to lose by moving your work station just because anything north facing this year at least for me, augurs bad fortune.
Besides, how am I going to do great, creative work (again, foretold by my sign) this year working on a small table?
Moved my home work station away from its north-facing area
My work station at work (!) and yes, you can never have enough iMacs.
A new Moleskine notebook and a Lamy pen which were Christmas gifts, seem to present the perfect opportunity to start a diary, right Lei?
Never too late to start a diary
I’ve never done a diary partly because I’ve never really developed a good penmanship. And there was always a type-writer or my dad’s secretary Rebecca who typed up my short-stories. To this day, I wonder how she transcribed it; it’s either I wrote the manuscript out painstakingly well, or she completely deciphered what I had written, because a whole lot of them got published.
But I’ve come to realise after a few entries that writing by hand is a much more enforceable discipline. I don’t waver or question my thoughts as much as I often do lately with blogging. My penmanship is the same awful upper-case printed mess, but it doesn't bother me. I’ve had enough of reasons that turn out in the end to be just excuses.
I’ve done an entry since the new year; here’s to the rest of the year and beyond.
Has it been 10 years?
Apparently, a decade has passed; sorry but I didn’t notice because I wasn’t counting.
New Year’s Eve/at Emma’s
The only song I could recognise was Avril Lavigne; He wanted her/ She'd never tell/ Secretly she wanted him as well/ But all of her friends/ Stuck up their nose/They had a problem with his baggy clothes. High school never changes, only the people do. When we started the countdown, mirroring something we found on the internet on someone’s phone, 12 midnight had actually already passed; our Apple watches had already announced the new year with tiny fireworks blooming on our wrists. But we counted down anyway. And again for good measure.
For what is time, or 25 and 47, or 1985 and 2050? It’s all relative. From the past to the future, everything is going in one direction.
I left Instagram today
The photo above was the last one I posted on Instagram a couple of days ago before disabling my account today. The accompanying text for the photo was a bit from a NY Times article about how much social media has been monetised to the extent that by just signing up, someone profits, BUT IT’S NOT YOU.
I create content for a living, so to do all this for free is bullshit; and ‘all this’ is; tens of thousands of dollars of tech equipment, at least 6 accounted hours every week on the app; unaccounted hours spent looking, taking and processing image for posting. Is it everyone’s dream to become an influencer? To be that uhm, viral sensation? Sure- but we’re also happy to just be ordinary, posters of our cats, our lunches and our non-designer branded shoes. But it just bugs me that there is an underbelly to all this; why can’t we simply share without it being a hidden transaction that is one-sided?
So goodbye Instagram. Here’s to putting those hours to better use- for my own benefit.
Minutiae
in my mind's eye
i am alive
yesterday, today tomorrow
where the blue sky never changes
it is the same blue,
and I am me, the way I have always been
in my mind’s eye
where i live forever.
Sometimes, it's easier to know what you're not (or a passel of adjectives)
Idle
Un-creative
Passive
Cruel
Weak
Selfish
Boring
Sad
Afraid
Fatalistic
Awful Things
Working too hard and actually liking it
Not being able to blog as often as I’d like
Crafting my best work- a comprehensive appeal to God on why I should win the lottery- and not winning anything
Not being able to determine if I’m inept at DIY things or if I’m just lazy
That I still can’t get my abs to show
Family members and friends who get divided by politics- like that is the STUPIDEST thing and I can hear Satan actually laughing in the background.
That winter last for only four months and not enough time to buy and wear all the beautiful coats you want
That 90% of content on Netflix and Neon is actually crap
When you realise you’ve wasted three hours on that crap
When time flies and doesn’t give a shit about you
Working from home
