Day 33: The day you stop counting the days

When I was a teenager, I used to count the days before summer school break. I would make a list of things that were not things to do, but things to accomplish. I don’t remember now what those were, but I do remember what i didn't accomplish; learn French was on my list for two consecutive summers. I even stole a book on beginner’s French from our high-school library.

Today, I’m still counting and I’ve asked myself what’s the objective? Is there an end-game to this? Is it back to the normalcy we once knew? I said it back in February before we even had an inkling of how severe things were going to be “Just stay at home really and probably not spend too much money. Maybe we need this. Maybe this is the (soft) reset humanity needs to see exactly what its priorities are. And I believe these are mine, or at least something better to do than twiddling your thumbs..”

And I did save money
I exercised a bit
Wasn’t able to draw anything
I cooked a lot
Didn't get to learn how to drive
Didn't get to watch Godfather or a whole lot of shows either

I need to add more stuff to the list. I should also stop counting the days.

Day 32

The funny thing is that work-days spent at home are more satisfying than weekends when there’s really nothing to do. There’s no point waiting for the weekends to do laundry or to do chores which you can slot them in during the week. And I really hate sleeping in as it gives me a headache but it’s a struggle trying to wake up at 7:30am. I’ve been having intense dreams like everybody else and it gets harder to wake up when they go on and on.

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I’m a movie-fan really I am. Show me one still image and I can tell you right away what movie its from. But today, I virtually watched Rogue One all over again (without skipping the parts as I usually do with movies I’ve already seen) because for the life me, I couldn’t even remember it. But I’m sure I’ve watched it before. Anyhow, it’s sad isn’t it?. Really sad. Sadder than Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker which I watched last night, rented on Apple TV. I enjoyed it in spite of the much publicised negative reviews. But the thing is, I’m invested in how a movie entertains me on whatever level, and not on why it’s made or who made it. I won’t ever be that geek who does reaction videos on Star Wars teasers and weeps uncontrollably.

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So I get Martin Scorsese’s diss of Marvel movies because I would be too if I was a film-maker of his milieu. But I’m just a popular-culture consumer who can appreciate the high-brow and the low- like Marvel movies. After watching Rogue One I just had to fast-forward through Star Wars A New Hope just because I wanted to see the Death Star destroyed. In that sequence where Luke Skywalker flies through a corridor on the Death Star being pursued by his dad Darth Vader, I thought I saw something weird. So I paused it and took a photo and lo and behold it was this: Darth Vader’s eyes. For a moment I thought that it didn’t look like James Earl Jones then remembered that he only did the voice. The actor who played Darth Vader was English bodybuilder and character actor David Prowse.

Day 31: Anzac Day

It’s one of those holidays I politely celebrate by sleeping in or watching the festivities on the news. It’s by accident and choice that you live in New Zealand, but its history will never really be a part of you. Mary & Sam had grandfathers who fought in the 1st and 2nd world wars and they have the medals & memorabilia stored somewhere. My Tatay lived through the second-world war and my dad was born in 1942 in Japanese occupied Manila and all I have are stories that I don’t actually remember anymore.

But we all forgot that the stand-in-your-driveway commemoration that was asked of all New Zealanders early this morning and not that tMary & Sam would wake up for it anyway.

I would’ve if the two white people in the house led the way but we all got up at 10am which is the usual for a Saturday.

I decided to make Anzac biscuits though which is strange because I’ve never liked their inherent hardness. They’re similar to gingersnap cookies with that tough outer surface that gives way to a crumbly inside. I got the recipe from an email by Farro Foods which called for:

1 cup rolled oats
¾ cup desiccated coconut
1 cup flour (or use 1 cup almond meal and ½ cup gluten free cornflour)
¾ cup brown sugar
125g butter
2 Tbsp golden syrup
½ tsp baking soda
2 Tbsp boiling water
¾ cup cranberries, chopped dried apricots (soaked in hot water for 5 mins and drained) or chocolate chunks

I didn't have desiccated coconut, golden syrup and cranberries/apricots so I substituted them with crushed pecans, maple syrup and sultanas respectively in the same quantities. The rolled oats I used also had raspberry bits and coconut in it. You can find the full recipe here.

I ended up with nine balls of dough which I later realised was a mistake- the recipe called for balls the size of walnuts and in my mind walnuts were nearly the size of golf-balls 😂. With the cooking time estimated at 15-18 minutes, I thought that the large cookies would burn at the edges before the centres cooked.

But they didn’t- they were a bit crumbly though even after they’ve cooled, and were not at all, like the commercial store-bought Anzac cookies. And I think that 125 grams of butter was a lot and contributed to the cookie being a tad too moist/oily.

Day 27: Before you complain about courier fees for fancy cakes, read this

I was fired because of the Coronavirus

MIAMI — For the past year, I have cared for a 95-year-old woman. I went to her family’s home, watched TV with her, talked to her and gave her medication. We shared stories. I made her food: bread with butter or peanut butter. Noodle soup was her favorite. We made each other laugh.

On March 16, when I arrived at work, the woman’s daughter opened the door and pulled me aside to talk.

“I don’t want anybody to bring the virus into my house,” she said. “Friday will be your last day of work.”

She told me that she needed to have control over her home, her children and her mother.

“I don’t want any strangers coming in,” she said. That included me.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked.

“When everything is under control, I’ll call you,” she said. I haven’t heard from her since.

I considered myself to be part of her family. It hurt. My boss viewed me as an outsider — as a risk to her own health.

I live with my son, Emanuel, who is 6. Right now, we are just trying to survive. In my job, I made $80 per day. My hours were flexible. Sometimes I worked three days a week, sometimes four or five. When the family called me, I would go.

I never made enough to have savings. And I don’t know how I will find another job now. Very few businesses in Miami are hiring. Restaurants are open only for takeout and have laid off many of their workers. A friend told me that working for Amazon might be a possibility. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that working in a big warehouse with lots of other people could be a bad idea during a pandemic. I don’t have any health insurance and I can’t afford to get sick. Who would care for my son, especially now that his school has shut down? It just seemed too risky.

Rent for my apartment is $870 a month. It was due on April 1, but I wasn’t able to pay. I’ve never missed a payment before, and fortunately, my landlord has been understanding. She said that she would give me free time and I can pay her back when I find a job.

My family’s health is more important than anything right now. I am trying to stay positive, but I don’t know how much longer I will be able to live like this.

Last week I ran out of food. A friend who distributes food for domestic workers at the Miami Workers Center told me to come by. Now my son and I are eating canned soup, some small bags of rice, chicken and cans of tuna. They gave me milk, water and spaghetti. This food will last us for a week. It is just enough to get by.

The National Domestic Workers Alliance is raising money to support domestic workers who have lost their jobs because of the coronavirus. Many of us do not qualify for the federal stimulus that is sending out checks to workers because we are not United States citizens. The alliance’s goal is to raise $4 million for 10,000 care workers, which will amount to $400 per person. Hopefully this money will arrive within a week. While this is a help, it won’t last long. First I’ll buy food, then use whatever is left over to pay part of my rent to my landlord.

The virus highlights how much domestic workers need protections, just like everyone else. Many nannies, house cleaners and other domestic workers are not entitled to severance pay, paid sick leave, health and unemployment insurance or other benefits that would help us survive this pandemic.

Every day I wake up and worry about what will happen the next day, the next week. I don’t know how I will make it through. For now, I am living day to day.

But I keep faith. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe the coronavirus will teach us that we need to change the system that views domestic workers like me as disposable. We still have time to change.

We need everyone to treat domestic workers like human beings. We deserve respect and a seat at the table. Our work has value. Without us, you cannot do your jobs. Just as we need you to survive, you need us.

(Published in its entirety from the New York Times; By Melissa L. St. Hilaire- Ms. St. Hilaire is a home care aide. She told her story to Devi Lockwood, a fellow in the Times Opinion section).

Day 24: Saturday

..and because food is never far away from my mind, I did some baking today. Nothing really complicated or expensive- I didn't even have to buy anything special because I have all the ingredients in the pantry.

It’s a simple lemon cake with a sugary-lemony drizzle; the recipe is from the NY Times of course which you can find here.

Day 23: Friday

I started writing something in the morning but work got in the way, so here we are, with photos again. I suddenly remembered that I have Google Photos; I think these were from Instagram and as you can see, food is never far away from my mind.

Day 22: Work, work, work

Don’t want to talk about it really, work I mean.

Today the government announced going down an alert level next week, but nothing much will change really. I think this is more of an easing for businesses who keep complaining about draining profits. Malls and restaurants will still be closed, but there will be more deliveries- McDonalds, KFC anyone? But food deliveries are expensive so aside from that one KFC meal, I’d stick to going to the supermarket which I enjoy, and cooking my own meals.

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Day 19: You're allowed one 'unproductive' day

Well, not really when I’ve managed to get a head-start for tomorrow’s work schedule; read all the documents; tested the new builds in the back-end; fixed up my documentation notes. When I was younger I didn't have much of a strong study ethic because I didn't see any value in it for me, but now I do. Nothing is worse than coming up to a Monday unprepared mentally and physically.

And there’s no excuse because as an adult with adult resources at your disposal, you can be prepared- your clothes (I always wear nicer things on Monday); your face (I wind down early on Sunday so I could rest earlier than usual); your lunch (I make my best lunches on Mondays); your tasks- I check all my emails and my scheduled meetings and make a mental map of how I’m going to tackle the day ahead.

And today was no different- but other than that, I didn’t do anything else. Finally finished the Netflix show The Final Table where the eventual winner was someone who didn’t have much of a personality and because everyone worked in teams before the finals, was also someone who didn’t seem to put in the work as much as the other guy who also made it to the finals (that’s what we see anyway on screen).

And there’s a lesson there actually that I should remember - don’t be too prepared; don’t be that bitch who always makes it a point to be too extra. Life is too short- and uncalculated- for you to be always calculating when you can actually relax once in a while. Loaf around. Do nothing for a change. Just this once.

The unassuming Tim Hollingsworth won Netflix’ The Final Table, with a dish he’s cooked before, that trumped the inventiveness and audacity of his competitors. At the end of the day, even chefs who call themselves progressive stick to old habits and …

The unassuming Tim Hollingsworth won Netflix’ The Final Table, with a dish he’s cooked before, that trumped the inventiveness and audacity of his competitors. At the end of the day, even chefs who call themselves progressive stick to old habits and inevitably pick a dish that is neither inventive nor bold, but settled and perfect.

Day 10: Essential chicken

We went to the supermarket 30 minutes before opening just to make sure I would be at least one of the first five people to wait in line- turns out, 20 or 30 more people had the same idea and were there earlier than we were. A big burly Pacific Islander was literally supervising the queue as a bouncer would in a hot night-club and 10 minutes before New World opened, was picking out people in the line he judged as ‘elderly’ to get in first. Yes- in this new normal, senior citizens trump the young.

But it didn’t take that long really, or maybe I’m just accepting of the fact that I had to wait my turn, and that I am fortunate to be living in a country where there are no food shortages- but where there are plenty of stupid people whose sense of self-preservation is skewed towards ignorant dismissiveness and the endangerment of others.

In spite of being inside my Zen bubble, it was still exhausting. And I still couldn’t find proper lamb, but did get ice cream, and would have to make do with frozen hot-cross buns turned into a pudding. Ahhh food. It’s all I ever think about and the only saving grace of the day would have to be the fact that what I made for dinner today is my absolute favourite.

Now this is essential food- singularly nourishing, simple and clean (always get the best organic, free-range chicken you can buy).