What to do

Today, I didn’t bring my work home. Or rather, I forgot the external drive where I usually put all my content work in. Putting stuff that I’m currently doing on the drive allows me to work anywhere where I can obviously plug it in.

But today, I forgot to bring it home and I saunter into the house as if I was seeing and smelling it for the 1st time. I do take a sniff - it’s a small house with a kitchen upstairs and I never cook anything on a regular rotation that would allow the smell to stick around. So I don’t cook fish (too expensive anyway), and we always do Indian and Chinese to-go (what you make at home doesn’t taste the same). I’ve ridden in enough Uber Camrys smelling permanently of Chicken Tikka Masala, and been inside cozy $1.2m Auckland apartments reeking of cabbage and onions to realise, that unpleasant food smells are more offensive than clutter or tacky decor.

Today, there isn’t any discernible smell, not even from the butter-laden shortbread that I made last night on an impulse. But I did see the clutter in the spare bedroom that we -or rather I - converted into a ‘laundry room’ where freshly-laundered clothes are dumped into the bed for sorting, or for ironing later. I’ve started to sort out my sock and underwear drawer; all the ‘small’ sized Calvins are going, and no, I didn’t get fat. I had started doing steep, inclined treadmill runs the last couple of months, and suddenly, I could feel the pinching tightness of the fabric against my groin and my testicles. So now they’re on a pile on the bedroom floor and I’m thinking, what happens to old underwear? Should I take a photo of my buff hamstrings?

I find Lily on the bed and she automatically goes into begging mode. I realise that it’s actually past 5pm which is her feeding time. I feed her half a packet of her prescription food (she has a delicate tummy) and a packet of broth, which is $1.50 for about two tablespoons of a gelatinous liquid and a smidgen of meat or fish. She eats for about five minutes, walks away, and goes up to her tower in a manner that is meant to attract my attention and means, where’s my after-dinner treat? This is what she does every day. This is her routine.

I give her two of the Temptations and then I make myself a double espresso. I get a piece of the shortbread and settle myself down on my desk and wake up the Mac. I open Outlook to check on my emails. This is my routine.

Well, not doing this today. I put the Mac to sleep and now I’m completely and utterly at loss at what to do…

Chicken Inasal Wednesdays

It’s officially autumn, but you still get extra hours of daylight up til 8pm which gives you the illusion that 5pm has stretched itself to three hours. So we went to the gym a bit late and getting home, I realised that I had half a chicken steeping in a marinade that would take at least 45 minutes to cook. But it was all I had - or a can of corned beef that I had been saving.

It was supposed to be chicken nasal - the marinade I made, plucked randomly from the internet called for vinegar, lemon grass (I used a powder), lemon, real-sugar sprite, brown sugar, patis, salt and pepper. Then there was a basting of atsuete powder and melted butter.

My only memory of chicken inasal was of course Mang Inasal, and my version - dumped into the air fryer for faster cooking - tasted nothing remotely of that memory. Maybe it should have been grilled over charcoal; maybe it needed real tanglad (lemon grass). Maybe it needed more acidity.

But I didn’t really care. The chicken was tender, the skin crisp and caramelised and the butter-annatto sauce dosed up with chicken salt was perfect with rice.

Stuff I ate over the weekend

Buns
We heard on the news that this cafe in our area is closing down because of some housing issue (they’re leasing a space in a historic, council-owned building), but what caught our attention was that they allegedly sell Auckland’s best cinnamon buns.

So of course, I bought some for pick-up the next day because it would be a shame that we’re in the vicinity of a much-praised food item and we haven’t even tried it (FOMO much). We’ve never been to the cafe because we’ve never been cafe-going people unless there was a special occasion, or we were in the grip of craving for chicken and chips at the one, not-so-fancy cafe that we do go to, Hollywood Cafe. And we also hate having to share cafe space (not really spacious) with animals and caterwauling kids, so…

The place was packed- I guess people heard the news so they probably came to see what the fuss was all about. The staff were full-on and there were two queues in opposite directions, leading to the tiny space where you placed your orders.

So it was a good decision to just pick up the buns which we had to wait for just five minutes. I had no idea of how big they were and thought that $48 for six was a standard price. But they were huge and had a loose free-form shape that didn’t look like the compact scrolls we’re familiar with (eg. Cinnabon’s).

But were they Auckland’s best? (I’ve honestly hadn’t had anything else from Auckland anyway). Probably Top 5; my sister’s version is better.

But to be fair, it all comes down to preference really. They were a tad too sweet for me; the glaze I initially thought, was condensed milk (why??). The next day I realised that it was actually cream cheese that probably had (a lot of) sugar added. And strangely, they weren’t cinnamony enough- you didn’t even get that whiff of cinnamon even if they were handed to us still quite warm. But I know some people who would adore all of its gooey, one-note sweetness.

Chicharon
I made binagoongang baboy and I took off the skin to make into chicharon- you don’t waste it when you have it! I realised later that I actually didn’t know how to make it into chicharon. Jong makes a big batch of it in their unpredictable oven but I haven’t gotten to asking how he makes it. I ended up cooking it three ways- frying it first (didn’t quite work not to mention the mess of exploding oil); then dumping it into the air-fryer, before I decided to put it finally in the oven on a baking rack, at low temp for about an hour. It didn’t have a lot of fat, and I ended up with something like a measly 200 grams. But look, it’s a luxury and an indulgence- you don’t need a lot of chicharon in your life.

Sunday steak and fries
I don’t eat a lot of red meat, but when I do, I get something nice like Wagyu. I’ve also perfected the method to cook it which isn’t complicated- fry each side for up to 5 minutes (this is for a 250-gram piece) for medium- rare and let rest for 10 minutes. I did a simple soy and butter gravy, made some skinny fries in the air fryer, and as a veggie side, had crisp, peppery water-cress which I just flash fried in butter and olive-oil (Sam had the beans). Done.

Presented as is

  1. Media jobs

  2. Taylor Swift

  3. Plus-sized, body-positivity influencers who lose weight

  4. Selena Gomez

  5. Alabama, Texas and Florida

  6. Putin

  7. Russia

  8. New Zealand’s coalition government

  9. Blink-182

  10. Kourtney Kardashian

  11. Repeal of New Zealand’s SmokeFree law

  12. Politicians who keep quiet

  13. Unimaginative restaurants

  14. The US Supreme Court

  15. Duterte family

  16. Christopher Luxon

Work trip

The whole trip took a little over 7 hours. A flight to Christchurch, then a connecting flight to Hokitika and an hour and a half of driving through the interior of the West Coast.

And all the quiet landscapes; empty, brutally beautiful, remote.

I always picture myself driving through these (in a motorcycle of course which is the dream), or having a moment (wading, swimming in the shallows?) at some picturesque stream or river. But in that fantasy, I never stay, I always keep moving.

I’m never one to shy away from solitude, but there has to be something more alluring than quietude for me to consider staying just a little bit longer. But what would though, other than that feeling of wanting to be disconnected from a world, that is increasingly hurtling towards something dark? Can we truly disconnect? Can I really disconnect, me??

I think it’s an illusion to believe we can get away from it all, but after having spent the weekend in this little town, I think that you probably can - here in New Zealand anyway.

What I ate (over the long weekend)

  1. All Indian restaurants in Auckland seem to use the same recipe for their dishes which doesn’t really matter because 99% of the time, it’s good. It’s the kind of goodness that’s impossible to replicate. And don’t bother with pre-made mixes or sauces; they never come close to the real thing. And because the dishes seem identical wherever you buy them, I don’t quite remember where we get our favourite curries - mine is ALWAYS a lamb madras - except that it’s local. This is the one time I go all out on carbs - basmati rice and three garlic naan - because the sauce is so rich, that one serving (at less than $20 for the whole combo), lasts me THREE meals. People always joke about Filipinos eating a whole pot or rice with one cup of gravy and well it’s true. Very satisfying.

  2. There’s a Malaysian restaurant that serves crispy chicken skin, but theirs is battered which in my mind, probably doubles up the fat content. Occasionally, I save the skin from my chicken and cook them in one go, but in the oven at a low temp until they’re completely rendered. I just season it with sea salt and pepper; dipping sauce is Pinakurat vinegar.

  3. Moustache cookies.

  4. For Sam’s birthday dinner, we went to the most basic French restaurant there is Le Garde-Manger. But basic probably works because it has outlasted every other fancy French resto since opening in 2010. It probably defies trends, but the menu has changed very little; the same old classics are there with occasional specials written on the board. While not French, I ordered the fish special which was a perfectly cooked piece of snapper fillet. The accompanying side of ratatouille was so good, that I replicated it the next day. Just don’t make the mistake of having them make a cake (which turned out to be a tiny, dry forgettable chocolate cake) and order their desert crepes instead.

  5. For Sam’s birthday cake, we decided to make Ina Garten’s (in)famous Mocha Icebox cake.

Guo Pei photo dump

If I was 10 years old again, I would have felt reverence, a sense of piety at being at the foot of an all-powerful being even if it was a mere statue, its glassy eyes looking straight ahead as if it didn’t deign to look down at me, a mere child (this was how I felt every time we went to Church).

But I’ve grown older and while not necessarily distant from the religion that I grew up with (I still fervently say my Hail Marys every night before I go to sleep), I have enough wisdom now I think to see through the pageantry and be able to appreciate what it really is - just very pretty, ornate old stuff.

Guo Pei’s creations have the inertness of Catholic religious statues; you’re only ever inspired if you’re a believer. Because outside of that, would anyone really imagine themselves teetering on 6-inch platforms passing off as footwear and walking on them while dragging a 25-kilogram gown?

But Rihanna actually did and this is why haute couture is hardly ever the thing you aspire or pray for in life; let the Gods (and pop stars) have them instead.

Guo Pei: Fashion, Art, Fantasy 郭培 ：时装之幻梦Guo Pei: Fashion, Art, Fantasy 郭培 ：时装之幻梦 is currently showing at the Auckland Art Gallery from December 2023 to May 2024.

Biscoff saves the day

The double-cream split and the ube jam didn’t really taste at all like ube, but Biscoff single-handedly redeemed everything!

Frankly, we’ve never heard of Biscoff until it was all over social-media, appearing everywhere from cookies, pies to ice-cream. It has that distinctness that’s similar to Amaretti biscuits; the flavour doesn’t get lost when you use it as an ingredient in something.

I made banoffee pie for Mary’s birthday and I attempted to do some variations to elevate it a bit more; putting the caramel on top of the bananas instead of underneath them, and then piping the cream topping in structured swirls. The cut bananas turn brown so putting the caramel on top ensures that they keep their colour. But using canned caramel means softening it you see and this is where it failed- the sauce was too runny and it ran down the sides (should’ve microwaved it instead of diluting it with cream).

The second disaster was the cream topping. I used double cream for the 1st time and didn’t realise that you had to watch it like a hawk in the mixer. Whisking it too long and it could become butter - which I wouldn’t have minded- but it didn’t, yet it inexplicably split (which made piping pointless).

Note 1: try making it in a smaller springform pan (which is so GODDAMNED hard to find) to give it better height.

But the Biscoff base was SPECTACULAR. It was like having a deliciously crisp and buttery cookie at the bottom. It didn’t really matter if everything else looked like a hot mess - the pie though as a whole was satisfyingly rich without being cloyingly sweet. Note 2: a Biscoff base is more delicate than one made from Graham crackers or digestives. For an eight-inch round pan, you can use two packets or about 500 grams of biscuits for a stturdier base.

Two days after the Banoffee I realised that I had an open bar of cream cheese, some leftover long life cream and one final packet of Biscoff, so I thought, why not an ube cheesecake as I also had a jar of ube in the pantry?

Making a cheesecake is easy enough - could make it with my eyes closed - but the Youtube videos were right in recommending that you not only use purple food colouring, but also ube extract. The ‘ube’ cheescake neither looked nor tasted like ube - but the nearly 2-inch Biscoff base again saved the day!