And then it starts..

A whole work-week finally done. What did I accomplish? A lot actually. And the thing is, no matter how much I love my job or how interesting it is, I’ve never really blogged about it. It’s enough that after I clock out (while actually still doing snippets of work after work, on the weekends, on the bus, on my vacation…) there is little enough (just in my mind I believe) time or energy for personal stuff which is funny and ironical because the stuff I like to do after work is the same thing I do for work (insert that laughing emoji with tears).

But this week I managed to maintain a decent work-out routine. It helped I think that I got new shoes to motivate me (insert that laughing emoji again with the tears.)

I also got my new glasses and at the bus stop today I struggled juggling the damned things- take out the reading ones to read texts; put it back and put on the distance ones to check the bus time-table; put everything away and take out the sunnies because the bus is coming.

After having vowed never to buy Wayfarers again after having lost my fifth pair, I bought a new one (OMFG, insert that laughing emoji again with the tears ) because they were 60% off. Who can resist that tell me?

The eyes are the window to your (body)

I had my yearly eye-test today which is sort of confusing because it’s supposed to be every two years, but I’ve been bombarded the last couple of weeks with reminders by OPSM, the eye-glass retailer that I’ve been going to since I started wearing prescription readers, to get one and so I did.

I’ve been obsessed with getting a pair of Tom Ford readers as well and hemmed and hawed all through-out the holiday season about getting one, but the prices never really got any lower (starts at $380). And because OPSM is quite expensive, I wasn’t about to spend nearly a thousand dollars bringing in a brand they don’t carry (which they should because they carry everything else like Prada, Armani, D&G etc) on top of putting new prescription lenses on them.

But I forgot all about the Tom Fords when I went into an OPSM shop and saw the lighter RX series of prescription frames by Ray-ban and of course I just had to get a new pair; I picked this one:

I got bi-focals last year but in that space of time, my general vision has deteriorated a bit. Below is how I see things; left is without glasses on and right, with glasses. It’s even gotten to a point where I bump into door-frames, protruding open shelves, table edges and basically everything at the periphery of my unaided vision.

The good thing about eye-exams is that they can also reveal whether you’re sick of something else like glaucoma, diabetes, cataracts etc. I had none of those thank God, but my cholesterol levels needed to be checked because the eyes can show cholesterol deposits as well and surprise, I have quite a few.

But that’s life- there’s nothing you can do with normal ageing and its effects, but you can manage what you eat.

New Year's Eve 2018

The good thing about celebrating the New Year is that it’s not burdened by sentiment- that’s reserved for Christmas. You start afresh. There’s promise of a new beginning (whether you believe in that or not). The day literally transitions from an old day to a new one- and so can you.

The worst thing you can do is to mentally believe that nothing has changed.

Your Christmas menu

Days before Doyet was asking me if we could find a ‘sugar-free cake’. So search I did and felt confused when I came across confections that still had sugar, but that the sugar was ‘unrefined sugar’. And of course I had to be sure so Googled it I did and thought, when did the act of eating become so complicated?? The right thing to do was probably NOT to have a cake for Christmas; save the money (natural, organic cakes cost three times more) and save your health gains.

Why not leave it at that?

I have been very busy which I guess, is a good enough excuse to miss blogging. At some point I begin to question the whole point of this, and then ultimately, to question every other thing that I do that is not about work, or living (like eating properly, exercising, taking your meds, putting on moisturiser followed by a serum and then another moisturiser). I am after all, my work and I think, isn't that enough? It puts food on my table (good food), guarantees some security in my old age, makes me smug in the belief that I am actually happy.

So why don't I just leave it at that?

Meh

I started writing yesterday a post about how because of work and the winter season, I was on the road to catching a bad cold, but because I did my usual pre-emptive scorched-earth barrage of medication, I was able to arrest it- when I realised that I had written about this before. So here we are, millions of grams of drugs and pitchers of hot lemon-honey water later, feeling up to it I think. I'm off to a work thing down the much colder south island for three-days so taking the precautions and saying my prayers that my body holds.

Will my body hold? Such a fragile thing we think, but the sense of fragility is most often in our heads. A thought that crosses my mind every morning when I look in the mirror is, God I'm old- but of course it's a fact that no one is exempt from this. 

So when I tuck into my kale and tuna salad at lunch even if my whole being is screaming for fried chicken and rice, I try to hang on to the belief that there is indeed something more to well-being than just a smooth face and taut limbs. 

I forgot this one's birthday...(insert crying emoji)

Because of this....(would post a lengthy explanation when I get the time!)....belated happy birthday Lei! Sorry! Love you!!!!

Dinner in the middle of nowhere (#werk #trip #DaySix

We arrived in Ranfurly at 6pm, but it might as well been after midnight as the town was effectively asleep as the winter darkness had fallen fast. Tick off the usual suspects- Four Square, the local pub, the hotel restaurant, a small Indian place- they were all deserted.

We dropped our stuff off at the motel (amazingly well-appointed, the Hawkdun Lodge) and accepted the reality that we would be trying to organise dinner from stuff at the supermarket. The Ranfurly supermarket was also empty save for the lone person/cashier/attendant. She was nice enough to suggest Naseby which was a few kilometers away. The directions seemed straightforward enough but I trusted Google Maps more.

It was total darkness all the way and 12 minutes in, some houses came into view, their lights dull. Was there really something in this place?? We drove silently into the centre of town and the few buildings there- the post office, the museum- were art deco and the road lamps were replicas of gas lamps like you would find in Victorian England. It looked to me, so Jack The Ripperish except that, why would Jack go here? Condemned perhaps to a town in the middle of nowhere where he could do little mischief once he dispatched what few residents the town had?

As it turned out, Naseby has only a population of 100.

We find the pub called The Ancient Briton and actually had a pleasant evening...one more day to go and snow forecast for the morrow...

When the ripper came to town

..and discovered to his eternal dismay, that there were no victims to be found

The Ancient Briton

(this is from its website) Built in 1863, the Ancient Briton was Naseby's first hotel and today it is one of only two remaining hotels in the town. For the weary miners, high-country shepherds and curlers it was a sanctuary offering respite from the cold and today it is still the town's social and cultural hub.

Open bar

The bar and restaurant has 5 fireplaces and seats up to 80 people, offering some private enclaves for socialising and dining

Get me a drink

It’s been hard- this is my 4th beer in as many days

Warm up

This fireplace is saying: For the weary miners, high-country shepherds and curlers it was a sanctuary offering respite from the cold and today it is still the town's social and cultural hub.

A bit of history

Founded in the 1860s, Naseby still retains its gold-mining heritage. Naseby was established to service the gold-miners who flocked to Central Otago to seek their fortunes and today it is one of the last truly authentic 'Central' towns, unspoiled by the passage of time.

Mains

I had blue-cod- a choice I would regret later after realising that it would’ve been frozen for weeks- but it was good enough

A sweet end

Quince and apple compote which was more of a crumble, but it was warm and cold at the same time and it was perfect

#werk #trip #DayFive

Strangely enough, the most interesting things of the day were dead and stuffed.

Bored out of our wits driving for hours on end between stops, we happened to see in Pleasant Point in Canterbury, a brightly-lit room filled with a menagerie of stuffed animals so we stopped.

The O'Rourke Brothers taxidermy has been doing taxidermy for almost 60 years and of a quality that is high enough for their work to be contracted by the likes of the Auckland Museum and the Department of Conservation.

The new owner (who still employs one of the O'Rourke Brothers) Rob Morrison has a direct connection to the business- he is an avid hunter- which is really the first stage in someone wanting an animal (which they have shot) to be stuffed. I guess you either eat it or put aside some serious cash (prices start at $1000 for game heads) to have it stuffed and mounted. Rob took me to the back to see how it's all put together and it's not pretty. But then there is nothing delicate about hunting, or even the processing of meat for food.

The back-end of the shop is literally a sort of butcher-shop; the animals after all, like any shot game, have to be prepared and prepped. For a moment, I thought I would puke at the smell of flesh, sinew and blood, but then I think- it's like when I was 15 again and my dad was teaching me how to de-feather and dress a snipe.

I expected to also smell again, the last part of that process when you singe the skin over a flame to burn off the nubs from where the feathers had been plucked. But there was none of that bitter, acrid fume. Instead, the smell was of cold death- he opens a walk-in freezer the size of a shipping container and brings out a fish waiting its turn to be reincarnated, the sallow flesh, resilient and shiny again like something fresh out of water. The container is filled with wrapped dead animals or parts of them as far back as I can see like some serial-killers grisly cache of unfortunate victims.

The waiting time to get a medium-sized animal done is 10-15 months.

Back in the front of shop, I spy a small fawn in a sitting pose- prices are also determined by how an animal is posed- and it looks unequivocally lifelike, perfect and immortal...I think we should consider ourselves lucky if we had the same fate.

#werk #trip #DayFour

Dear Lei; so basically going around New Zealand for a work project (never mind what it is exactly) which started up north and slowly making our way south. Our routine for the last four days is this; we wake up at 7am and get on the road by 8am or 8:30. We drive (well, the driver does, not me) an average of 200kms between places and it's equally exhausting just sitting down and making conversation (it's inexplicably getting harder trying to communicate with 30-year olds these days). There is nothing much to see in the interior of New Zealand; at some point, the endless stunning landscapes cease to be stunning and just become this blur. Read what you will of what it means to you but really it starts to mean nothing because there is no one there. Suddenly, the idea of someone actually living in the middle of this desolation is an exciting, disruptive prospect (I have fantasized about this so many times). Sorry, but I think I'm convinced that nature is NOTHING without humanity's touch, destructive or otherwise. 

I have slept in about four different motels/hotels. My single piece of luggage is open like a disemboweled thingy on the floor and who brings these many creams and shit?? (I do) Not to mention my normal medication and vitamins (there's this new thing with Garlic combined with zinc, vitamin C and horseradish to stop allergic reactions- seems to work because my nose has stopped itching).

In the next few days (we fly out, the rental SUV ditched, on Thursday), I might see snow and I'm looking forward to that. I have this belief that I have this affinity with the cold, with winter.

I am I think, trying hard to convince myself of that. I look in the mirror and see my skin struggling- needs more moisture I think; thank God I have enough creams in the world for that...

xx

Picton

Woke up to this today

Where does the sun rise?

Before it did, out of those mountains, we were already on the road

Instagrammable

But the truth of this landscape is that it’s cold and wet and muddy. And if you slip on the rocks and fall unconscious, you’re dead- it would be weeks before someone would find you

Sweet Dreams

And those little surprises in the middle of nowhere like a French bakery run by a real French baker with (presumably) real French food

Vintage everywhere

New Zealand is littered with these and I don’t know, the stuff is pretty, but I’ve never really bought anything

The story of this

So I decided to launder some of my clothes in the hotel and discovered that I couldn’t work the controls of the washing machine. I ended up bagging my still wet stuff and drying them under the West Coast sun

Those trails

I miss cycling, but I need to be able to drive to get to these trails

#werk #trip #DayThree

Rain, rain rain. We should have sacrificed a lamb or something for better weather.

Local Art

I keep looking for that special one that will make me buy it. This one is nice, but doesn’t fit in anywhere unless I lived in a gorgeous modern log-cabin

Baffling

In a town where I think the minimum wage sits just at $15, why sell one small slab of meat that costs $19?? I can afford it but I can’t find it in the supermarkets where I currently live!

Wellington stopover

Love the kitsch and the books at IkoIko

Ferry crossing

It was my first time to cross the ferry, but horrors of horrors, my phone’s battery was nearly out, no charger at all and the ferry’s listing made it feel as if your legs were made of rubber

Pub food tour

Great big hearty mains when all you want is something between that a starter

And that means two starters!

Some pate and squid will do just fine

more rain ahead

and the tour continues through rain and freezing weather

#werk #trip #DayTwo

In a small country like New Zealand, it's harder to see the class divisions. The man in the nondescript simple merino top and cords may be seven-figures richer than the man in the slim-cut suit and well-worn Ferragamo shoes. Or vice versa- merino tops and corduroy pants may also mean what it looks which is a modest retirement and a worry about that hip-replacement surgery waiting list. When we passed by opulent small homes in the Bay of Plenty with their long driveways and architecturally landscaped grounds, I couldn't picture what kind of New Zealanders owned them or what jobs (or businesses) they had. What's even more confounding was when we got deeper into the interior where the small towns are, so small, that even the smallest of fast-food chains (a good indicator of population) are non-existent, and I think, how do people in these places make a living? 

I mean, list up the usual suspects- farming, livestock, repairs, medical- aside from these, what else could one do?

Every time I pass by a particularly desolate looking place I think, if I lived here, what would I do? And I imagine these scenarios where I conveniently take away the problem of what to do for a living and I think I would:

1. Try my hand at gardening
2. Finish three books a week
3. Start long-distance running again
4. Learn a new craft like sewing
5. run for office or apply for a community position or something
6. keep a pet like a big dog

#werk #trip #DayOne

Mining old stuff

It's been a long, long time since I last felt literary. Lately, it's all been about work content; videos, marketing pitches, social media (ugh). So I logged back into my old Blogger account which is like going into that old room, that upstairs attic or basement and rummaging through 'old files'. There's not much there- the longest one is a mere 1,400+ words- but it gives me a picture of myself that I ironically, don't see anymore even with an almost daily record of photos.

I currently have over 23,000 images, a few thousand of which even pre-date the launch of Apple's iCloud (2011) and my suspicion is that when someone rifles through them, they would find someone utterly normal; someone who clearly has mastered the art of taking food photos, has good shots of everyday things, is not really vain (and because I'm not photogenic)  and... nothing much else. There is nothing wrong with normal- the problem is that I'm actually not. I believe I'm not. And I hate being just normal.

The photos don't do me justice in the sense of showing something other than the obvious. But I take them because it's easy- so in a sense it's somewhat true- it is an easy life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the easy life- the problem is that I know nothing is ever easy.

When you rest on easy, that's when everything starts to get fucked up.

Red-Letter Day

Don't you hate it when how you feel doesn't match what is actually incontrovertible fact? Like your actual age. It could be plain denial, or worse, some sort of delusion.

My question is, when will both actually match-up? If ever. Does it happen naturally (didn't happen when I started medicating for blood pressure, cholesterol), or do we make that effort to somehow make peace with things we can't change? But in my defence, I'm not changing anything that I know I can't alter. 

I am simply living my best life, which sadly, does not merely involve affirmations of positivity, faith and a leave-it-to-God-kind of mentality. You need to exercise. You need to eat good, nourishing (and consequently expensive) food. You need to protect your skin, to dress comfortably so as not to be judged by an always judging world (and I do care about being judged).

You need to work at life, to develop and take advantage of the gifts and passions and flaws that were given to you. 

You need to ALWAYS give your best

“If You Can’t Love Yourself How In The Hell Are You Gonna Love Somebody Else”

— RuPaul

I did (inadvertently) gift myself last year with Apple products that totalled a low five figures so I don't think I can afford the same this year- there's always that year for more 'meaningful' gifts...

Eating well

And this means sacrifices- you can’t change the way your body works, so might as well give it what it wants. Less fat, more vegetables; more wholesome foods even if God knows, all I want is a bucket of KFC.

It's also about what's inside

Less negativity, and more healthy stuff even it means getting it out of a cleverly packaged bottle. I hope it’s not a scam.

Smell good

Got three scents today, just because.

Put your best foot forward

And it wouldn’t hurt if it happens to be shod in a good winter boot from Timberland.

Get supplemented

I’ve been a believer in vitamin supplements for the better part of two decades. There were times when given the choice between a new pair of Nikes and vitamins, I chose Vitamin B and C. I’ve been waiting for Wondermins to open in New Zealand; it reassures you that what you’re actually buying what you really need.

?

When I was a younger, I took New Year resolutions very seriously. One year it was, 'learn French' (never happened) and another year it was, 'change your body'- something which at my age, I am still learning how to do. I never look back which explains why there are literally years in which I have little memory of anything (like between 21 and 30?).

But really, all you need to remember about the past are the things you shouldn't be doing ever again. Always look ahead because that's the only direction you're headed.

Eat better

I once did a two-month food diary, just automatically writing down what I ate and at the end of it, got the shock of my life when in those 60 days, I apparently ate vegetables a total of three times. I could blame what's locally available- not much- but it's certainly not an excuse to not make an effort. I have salad days; sturdier, more substantial vegetables such as carrots and kale and I think maybe it's time to start visiting the weekend markets for more variety. Overall, I think I have a pretty balanced diet, but it could be better.

Be more creative

I'm not going to be the next art prodigy that's for sure, but creating is not about the output. It's about flexing a muscle that is an important part of me.

Save for the future whatever that is

Funny that in always looking forward, I can't see the numbers that would make that future- at least the financial part of it- a bit clearer. But now I'm learning and realising that being financially practical is something anyone can learn; even for a math dummy like me. 

Be fitter than ever

It's already proven that building muscle mass is not exclusive to youth, and that at any age, you can still aspire to be Sylvester Stallone circa the 90's. But vanity muscles aside, I'd like to be more agile, flexible and heart-fit.

Learn to take care of your clothes

I spend a considerable amount of good money on quality clothes. But time and again, I'm defeated by the fact that I am not able to adequately care for it. I need a 'lavandera', period. 

Ignore them and they will go away. Hopefully

Just think about this- what has Donald Trump, Taylor Swift and Rose McGowan ever done to you? The sheer preponderance of content, amplified by the fact that I have literally every device possible fools me into thinking that I am affected. To this day, Trump winning the American presidency feels to me like a very personal affront; because yes, in spite of my best efforts, I was no match for Russia's social-media bots. It's time to stop trolling. 

Literally stop and take time to smell the roses

I need to remember sometimes that my life is in the moment, of looking at what's in front of me. There are clothes to be sorted, debts to be paid, healthier food menu to be planned, a whole reserve to explore. I feel sometimes that my online life (and it's because it's part of my job) hijacks me mentally and I'm stuck in bed, laptop in front of me, phone on my bedside table and my connected watch ready with its reminders and notifications. I might as well be hard-wired literally. 

Travel. When you have the money

I look at social media and realise that most people travel for the photos. You meet someone who claims to be well-travelled and yet has the personality and intelligence of a brick. I've realised that a trip to a supermarket or a library in another part of town can be just as exciting as going to a country you've never been before. Again, it's the same theme of living in the moment and being aware of what's really in front of you. There's just a smattering of places that I'd like to visit- New York, Scandinavia and France; that's it. Hopefully this year, I might get to visit one of them. 

Socialise? Make more friends?

There's a study which claims that it's harder to find close friends as you get older. And from experience, you find friends by accident and not by any means that's deliberate or planned. So I'm sort of ambivalent about this as I'm perfectly happy in my moments of solitude but there are times when I question it and think- would I become one of those people who would suddenly engage a random stranger with the story of my life at the slightest provocation?  On one hand, how do you find new friends? I've always been interested in signing up for writing classes, cross-fit programs and even yoga- that could be a two in one deal. You increase your chances of finding a friend who happens to share your interest and even if you don't, you still get to do something you've always wanted to do. 

The year of the Apple

If there's one thing I've learned to be true is that you should take care of yourself first because if you don't, you won't be any good helping others. I think though that when this is extended to the issue of gifts-to-oneself, I have to admit that 2017 was pretty extravagant. So take me off your Christmas lists because I have that covered! 

The new MacBook Pro with touch bar

I thought it was going to be lighter than my previous late 2014 MacBook Pro, but the weight difference is so incremental, that it's nothing. Clackier keys. Visibly better resolution which is a miracle that I can still notice it even with my fucked-up eyesight. Still a great, hassle-free machine even if the current iOS has baffling, unnecessary features. What I mourn though is the disappearance of the lighted Apple logo, and I didn't even know that until I had bought it.

Apple Watch Series 2

Never really thought of upgrading until one day, the back-plate of my series one just popped off. Apple replaced it with what seemed like a new one, but at that point, it felt like I was over it. Time for a new one. While I understand the motivation for Apple doling out the features in annoying increments, it's never to a degree where I think it's a rip-off. At least not yet. Everyone else has had a wearable before Apple brought out theirs but make an assessment comparison and it's shocking that others (who grumble and accuse Apple of being glorified copy-cats) haven't caught on Cupertino's strategy- make it way better-looking than the competition. Everyone nearly has the same features and functionalities to play with anyway, so what's the icing on that? Samsung Gear which one of our office IT guys one proudly showed me, looks like one of those shiny clever fakes you see at a Thailand shopping mall; rough-edged metal, 2nd rate leather straps. Disgusting.

Use it for what it's intended for

I promised myself (and my doctor) to up the ante on improving my cardiovascular fitness. Apparently, 2km walks are not enough. When an effective health and fitness regime is all about getting the numbers right, you need something to track it with some degree of accuracy. And that's where the watch comes in- a part of its ubiquitousness is certainly annoying (like the email notifications which admittedly you want to turn off but loathe to), but it's also the factor why you're kept committed to your fitness goals. Without its consistent presence, you will forget. You will park your ass on the bed to eat and watch stupid Youtube. You will groan and procrastinate. You will possibly die- no kidding. 

The iPhone X

I've been an iPhone user since the 3GS, skipped a few (4, 5), did Android for less than a year, and been pretty much clued into what's happening. Baffled by the iPhone 8- anyone who's been using iPhones for a long time would know that Apple passing it off as a new variant is bullshit- but hey, there are those who are buying into iPhones for the 1st time who would be fine with it. The only disappointment is the camera and it's only because it's my fault for having un-informed, ignorant expectations (New Years Resolution: study up on photography). Other than that, it succeeds because after using it for just a day, you're utterly convinced by what it can do and not because Apple said so.

10.5 inch iPad Pro

I've hemmed and hawed about this since the first iPad Pro came out because the truth is this- tablets never really age. They've fallen into that category of gadgets that are good for something you hardly need advancements for like reading and plain internet browsing. I've had the 2nd generation, Retina-display iPad for years far longer than my iPhones and it was perfectly fine. But this one dangled the creative carrot in front of me and it's a trap (the verdict is still out on this one) I've fallen for time and time again, albeit willingly.

It's brilliant

Apple keeps most of its promises and this is why you're hooked because just when you thought you have seen everything you realise that you haven't. But woe to those who buy it off the bat; first generation versions are always never perfect when the next, better one is just 12 months away (except for the iPhone X in my opinion). This size at 10.5 like the iPhone X's much smaller over-all specs is the absolute sweet spot. And the Apple pencil- in spite a weird way to charge it- it is what Apple claims it to be and I even use it for non-drawing purposes like navigating the iPad and turning pages when reading. Why would I want my smudgy fingers to ruin the gloss of that gorgeous screen?

Starting over

I know that the genetic gifts are strong (because how else would I be currently earning a living as a graphic design person when I never studied it formally??) but I also feel that one should also be informed; to learn contexts, to practice. Practice, practice, practice. To immerse yourself until you find your voice, your groove, when one day, a simply drawn line becomes identifiably you. You'll probably never get there but no one knows that. You don't know that. The one truth that I continue to struggle to hold onto every single day is that you will never even get to answer that question if you don't start. And that's the worst fate- to have had a life where you didn't bother to try.

Sisig

We went to the Auckland Night Markets over the weekend and a Filipino food stand was back selling beef kaldereta, laing/Bicol Express and pork sisig. I got the sisig ($7) and didn't really care about the kaldereta or the laing. I don't want to brag, but our family does better Filipino food than most; the kaldereta didn't even have olives.

But it's not easy making sisig so I grab any chance I get to buy it ready-made. It's not always guaranteed that it's made according to how I normally like my sisig. As it turned out, the sisig I bought could have done with a few other additions, but the familiar chewy, sticky texture was there along with that porky-sour-creamy taste, and that's just what you need really when you don't have the time to make it yourself. Heck, I get so desperate sometimes I even buy the canned sisig from the Asian store.

The great thing about sisig is that it comes with so many tweaks and I actually like them all- toasted, so that you get the crispy bits that stick to the pan; slightly moist and gelatinous punctuated with the nutty creaminess of the pork brain (gross to some, but the taste is sublime); intensely sour from a dousing of vinegar; or even westernised with slashings of mayonnaise.

I remember $2 pig-heads at the butcher in my first two years in New Zealand- you bought one, seasoned it, roasted it in the oven, chopped it all up as fine as you can, added onions (I would use both red and white) and seasoning, and grilled it just before serving. Obviously it's great with rice, but I can honestly eat it in spoonfuls just by itself, hot or cold.

I ate mine mixed with a kale and savoy cabbage salad.

Sisig with kale and savoy cabbage

plopping an egg in the middle of the sisig

sisig teppanyaki style

sisig as pulutan is the best

One day, 7 photos, B&W, no explanations

#forLeila