I could say fuck you to 2021, but I personally had a terrific year so….
Relax my ass
The following things relax me:
1. A cup of coffee
2. Work task done and dusted
3. Clean carpets
4. Not having spent much (this is a recent thing)
5. No pending work task the next day (because I’ve all done them the day previous).
6. A good meal that wasn’t too complicated to prepare
7. A flat stomach (on some days)
8. Finished a work-out
9. A good book
10. A good short-something on any of the streaming services
So eight days into the Christmas break, I feel like I’m over it. I should have planned it better, but then planning is also hardly relaxing. But really, there are only so many hours you can spend not doing anything; only so many chocolates you can eat before you feel absolutely sick. I look at the time I have to spend on holiday and it triggers the same feeling I get looking at the Prezzy card I got from work; I don’t want to fuck it up by wasting it on shit.
Noche Buena 2021
A Simple Prayer for Christmas Dinner
Dear God, we give thanks for this time when we can all be together. We give thanks for this food which is bountiful and delicious. We give thanks for this joyful holiday when we can celebrate our Savior and his love for us. With joy we pray, Amen
Summer of 21
Where did the time go?
I've missed the city
First time I saw the Auckland CBD, I thought, is this it?
At about 4+ km2, Makati City in comparison is nearly 8x bigger. Funny how you equate size with greatness which is kinda true if all you think that makes a city great is what you can buy, see and eat in it.
And there’s not much of that to be honest. But after 13 years living just 21kms outside the city (the funny thing is how Kiwis think of that commute as torturous when they haven’t experienced EDSA) I’ve learned that quality is really better than quantity- part of that is the fact that as you grow older, less is better for your health and survival and yes, happiness.
You get to adapt to a way of life where you get to compare and assess your needs and wants, and realise that not being able to find a good French restaurant is NOT a fucking big deal. Or that you can’t find the jeans you want at the mall.
Living in Auckland is all about managing your expectations, which is a great thing to learn if you find yourself living elsewhere (I don’t think I will).
The city was almost empty today when I went to pick up these shoes I bought; but then it’s never always full even on a work-day, pre-Covid. The density is such that you don’t get to literally rub shoulders with crowds on the streets (which is why our Covid rates are low) which now- Covid era- is gross.
I could have stopped for coffee, but Starbucks wasn’t on my way, and I’m still trying to be careful- the city may be empty, but not all of its occupants are necessarily visible…
The week before Christmas
Christmas for me is like going to another country- the getting there is the more exciting part.
I think because in my head, I have all these images and expectations of what the day is going to be like, and they rarely ever match-up with reality. But the getting there- the tomorrow and the next days that you never quite plan for- offer the most surprises. And yet, we never try to relinquish control to the fates.
But yes- everything is ready. The menu for the next two weeks has been planned; special food is on its way; all gifts wrapped and accounted for; special personal items bought (yup, bought the jacket and the shoes); work is sorted; even tried to whiten my teeth again- and yes, root canal schedule for January has been set.
What else?
I have a spare $400; what should I buy with it?
I have no kids, no dependents. I save more than 10% of my income. I’ve been working way too hard- and I haven’t bought much non-essential stuff really. I just realised, what am I giving myself this Christmas??
Still struggling with the heat/ a list
Found a new dental practice- young, enthusiastic and thorough. And most importantly, got actual dates to fix this fucking tooth.
Time to get a taste of some holiday food that I’ve been missing; deluxe, gourmet fruit-cake, caviar on toast, pork lechon (hopefully), truffled cheese, chicken-skin..
What to watch??? Dune, Spiderman, James Bond and the Eternals all showing at the same time..
Haven’t been exercising as much because of the heat and I think I’m plateauing.
Still on the hunt for little gifts
It's just Christmas
I remember a couple of years back how much of a big deal we always made it out to be.
We made at least five dishes, half of which we didn't even like- it just looked amazing on Facebook (!). I shopped like crazy and came into the New Year with my cards nearly maxed out and guiltily hearing my mom’s oft-repeated admonishment, ‘don’t be a one-day millionaire!’.
Now, we just make sure the main dish is something we love- pork, pork, pork! - with a much simpler menu.
I don’t have Facebook anymore. I only have one credit card (my trusted American Express) and just save up when I want to buy something. And I’m still NOT a millionaire and never will be.
But I’m happier. And exhausted- this fucking heat, the work (which I have to admit I love).
But the holidays are less of a hassle when you put aside your expectations - ever diminishing every year until finally, they’re at a level where they’re supposed to be which is where you are at the moment - and not be burdened by them or by sentiment.
And accepting the fact, that Christmas will never again, be how you used to have it.
Good to be home again
We’re not a sentimental family. If I was caught out of the borders, I wouldn’t be one of those sob losers (much as I sympathise with their plight) blaming the government for choices I’ve made.
But it’s more than great to see everyone again.
New glasses
Under New Zealand’s traffic-light system, the country (Auckland) will be opening hand in hand with Covid, in the 1st week of December.
I can finally visit Doyet and the family; think of eating in a restaurant; last minute shopping (?); Physio-massage (carpal tunnel ugh); teeth (root-canal ugh) and glasses! Need an eye-check and possibly a new pair.
Here is the short-list:
The Micro-Blood Moon
A long partial lunar eclipse, dubbed a “blood micromoon” will be fully visible from Aotearoa on Friday night, with things kicking off after 8pm. The last time a similar partial eclipse occurred in New Zealand skies was nearly 800 years ago
Golden ticket?
Monday and the idiocy of not driving
I missed the chance last week to drive either with Mary or Sam to pick up my meds on the way to the supermarket, and the pharmacy was closed on a Sunday. So on a super hectic Monday- with back to back to back to back soul-sucking Microsoft Teams meetings, I had to go on an Uber before lunch to pick them up.
Took nearly 40 minutes round-trip- on what looked like a normal pre-Covid-lockdown Monday- and $32 dollars.
But thank the Lord for little blessings like my boss finishing one approval meeting in under 12 minutes leaving me to pretend that I was busy for the next 45.
So I had time to make my current favourite way to cook noodles for a late lunch, as if it was ramen (this is Nasi Goreng) which is leave a little liquid on what is actually a dry sort of noodle, and to swirl in a dollop of butter. For protein, I topped it with a pan-fried salmon piece.
It was very satisfying and just enough to make me slightly forget I could have used that $32 Uber fare for salmon at just under a kilo.
Tuesday wish-list
Fruitcake
Lechon pork-belly ( I hope Doyet makes some for Noche Buena).
Getting to try out the Cordis’ hotel’s new wing
Losing at least 3kgs (haven’t budged from 73kgs).
Get to finish one of the dozen of stories I’m working on
Get to finish one creative work
Re-do the side garden
Get rid of this wisdom tooth in the most painless way possible
Been wanting to make leche-flan in like forever
Massive seafood dinner
Get to finish 5 books before year’s end
Ryan's Christmas Gift Registry
I don’t care about the critics- the current government still has a good grip on a situation that could be ten times worse (and a hundred times worse in other countries). The critics could either drop dead or catch Covid; either way, FUCK YOU and you don’t know squat. Anyhoo, a weird call today- level 3.2 which allows for some businesses to open (like malls!) and others to remain closed like restaurants (boo!) and cinemas (double boo!).
So if you’re an anti-vaxxer, you can go out on Wednesday and catch yourself some Covid- that will teach you.
I’ve done all my shopping and besides, the only times I go to a store is when I’m not sure of the fit or the fabric; I buy the majority of my clothes from the same labels so I know my fit 99% of the time. But yeah, going out there is like playing Covid roulette, and for what? For a pair of goddamned pants lol. Not worth it.
And speaking of shopping, here’s a list of stuff I’d like to by for myself if money is no object; after all dreaming is free…
Saturday
I
Our barely one-year old (cheapish) washing machine broke. I had to hand-wash clothes in the old tub and had the vague feeling that the detergent was not meant for such a process. But I don’t live in a country where washing-machines are as common as TV sets and where I can go into a supermarket to buy special detergent meant for soaking and manual washing. I didn’t dawdle long- you just focus on two areas, the arm-pits and the crotch. Not that there’s anything nasty there. I change my clothes and underwear everyday still and I hardly sweat. The water was freezing and I discovered that while I can lift 30kg dumbbells I hardly had the strength to squeeze water out of the clothes.
My hands looked plump and bloated after, and I remember the hands of our old lavenderas back in Pangasinan, how worn and red they were. And the loads they did good Lord - denim, blankets and towels. And by the time the clothes were dry as they often did quicker in the tropics, it was mid-afternoon and the lavandera would be folding and sorting the clothes. I remember getting breads and sweets and Coke at the store, and we would eat and exchange gossip as we waited for my mother to arrive so they could be paid. I miss those days; no washing machine can surpass human hands.
II
We set up the Christmas tree today. Two years ago, we bought a cheaper one at Kmart, and it was black pine which we thought was chic. But part of me wasn’t convinced because I could see through its paltry 600 plus tips and it really bothered me. So last year I bit the bullet and bought a 3,000 tip, $700 (we got it 50% off so paid only $350) tree and I was finally satisfied. Christmas is one of the last things where you cut corners and compromised, which is kinda stupid because after the 25th has come and gone, it dawns on you that sentiment really has nothing to do with logic and reality. But I realised that this feeling is universal. Aucklanders- or so the media claims- are about to revolt that Christmas this year was going to be cancelled; and mistakenly by the government, and not by a virus that is lurking in all corners of the city. But from what I have seen, there is really nothing special about the way Kiwis celebrate Christmas- the food is crap, the gifts have a $20 cap and everyone gets drunk and pissed by Boxing Day. But habit and sentiment is all part of the tradition, isn’t it? Anyhow, I’m ready and prepared- 99% of all gifts have been bought and sorted, and an emergency menu has been worked out.
A broken washing machine and Covid are not the end of the world; but an ugly Christmas tree can be super annoying.
When you're feeling good, you want to shop
I’ve completed a week’s worth of ‘brisk’ walking, just under 2kms and 12 minutes.
Normally, I would think of a million excuses, but lately, in this pandemic, when it seems that you have all the time in the world, you get a sense that it’s a lie. You do it now, or it’s all lost, simple as that. Sometimes I feel great after and sometimes, it’s the same. But I guess, that’s what you call an investment; the cumulative rewards are in the end. Or so you hope.
But then, what else is there to do? It’s definitely more positive that agonising over Christmas; that you’re aching to watch Dune at the movies; that a restaurant meal would be nice; or go on a bus ride at 4pm; or sauntering into the supermarket. But it’s not your job to be angry at the bigger picture of why you can’t do these things. Leave that to the stupid politicians (FUCK YOU Judith Collins, FUCK YOU David Seymour) because that’s what they’re paid for.
Your job is you, and it’s not an easy one.
But thank God for small victories- studies have shown that exercise no matter how small, makes a difference- and I thought, hmmm, maybe I will reward myself.
But no I didn’t- this is just online window shopping- but who knows? You’re investing in yourself remember and that shouldn’t be a wasted purchase.
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It's just Tuesday, but I want it to be Wednesday
I thought it was Wednesday I guess because I had a full Monday. Full-on work-day; did a 2km brisk walk under 10 minutes; did yoga before bed. Over-achieving doesn't equate to some sort of time-travel. You wake up to a new day where you’re expected to do the same thing all over again.
And you ask yourself- will it really make a difference? If I spent the day doing the opposite, what would be the consequences of that? I started doing collagen supplements a couple of weeks back (I think I’ve mentioned this before) and every morning, I try to spot any tell-tale signs of its effects. So far, all I see is the same face- it’s a good face for sure, but that’s not what you want to see.
We all want something dramatically momentous to happen, but the universe doesn't seem to work that way.