The week before Christmas

Christmas for me is like going to another country- the getting there is the more exciting part.

I think because in my head, I have all these images and expectations of what the day is going to be like, and they rarely ever match-up with reality. But the getting there- the tomorrow and the next days that you never quite plan for- offer the most surprises. And yet, we never try to relinquish control to the fates.

But yes- everything is ready. The menu for the next two weeks has been planned; special food is on its way; all gifts wrapped and accounted for; special personal items bought (yup, bought the jacket and the shoes); work is sorted; even tried to whiten my teeth again- and yes, root canal schedule for January has been set.

What else?

I have a spare $400; what should I buy with it?

I have no kids, no dependents. I save more than 10% of my income. I’ve been working way too hard- and I haven’t bought much non-essential stuff really. I just realised, what am I giving myself this Christmas??

I have two coffee-machines, maybe I'll get a 3rd one

Vertuo Next Deluxe Dark Chrome & Aeroccino3; this is the one with the weird looking pods, $419

I feel like shooting an #antivaxxer - with a toy gun!

Technically the Shelby Destroyer foam disc blaster would be considered a toy — but the Destroyer's performance is anything but toy-like. Designed, engineered, and assembled in the US, the Destroyer aims to solve the problems of those "other" foam guns; $349

I need to be casual for Christmas dinner

MA-1 Slim Fit Flight Jacket, $349

Stocking up on winter boots

Cole-Haan’s ZERØGRAND Chelsea Boot, $349

Still struggling with the heat/ a list

1. Found a new dental practice- young, enthusiastic and thorough. And most importantly, got actual dates to fix this fucking tooth.

2. Time to get a taste of some holiday food that I’ve been missing; deluxe, gourmet fruit-cake, caviar on toast, pork lechon (hopefully), truffled cheese, chicken-skin..

3. What to watch??? Dune, Spiderman, James Bond and the Eternals all showing at the same time..

4. Haven’t been exercising as much because of the heat and I think I’m plateauing.

5. Still on the hunt for little gifts

It's just Christmas

I remember a couple of years back how much of a big deal we always made it out to be.

We made at least five dishes, half of which we didn't even like- it just looked amazing on Facebook (!). I shopped like crazy and came into the New Year with my cards nearly maxed out and guiltily hearing my mom’s oft-repeated admonishment, ‘don’t be a one-day millionaire!’.

Now, we just make sure the main dish is something we love- pork, pork, pork! - with a much simpler menu.

I don’t have Facebook anymore. I only have one credit card (my trusted American Express) and just save up when I want to buy something. And I’m still NOT a millionaire and never will be.

But I’m happier. And exhausted- this fucking heat, the work (which I have to admit I love).

But the holidays are less of a hassle when you put aside your expectations - ever diminishing every year until finally, they’re at a level where they’re supposed to be which is where you are at the moment - and not be burdened by them or by sentiment.

And accepting the fact, that Christmas will never again, be how you used to have it.

Good to be home again

We’re not a sentimental family. If I was caught out of the borders, I wouldn’t be one of those sob losers (much as I sympathise with their plight) blaming the government for choices I’ve made.

But it’s more than great to see everyone again.

New glasses

Under New Zealand’s traffic-light system, the country (Auckland) will be opening hand in hand with Covid, in the 1st week of December.

I can finally visit Doyet and the family; think of eating in a restaurant; last minute shopping (?); Physio-massage (carpal tunnel ugh); teeth (root-canal ugh) and glasses! Need an eye-check and possibly a new pair.

Here is the short-list:

The Micro-Blood Moon

A long partial lunar eclipse, dubbed a “blood micromoon” will be fully visible from Aotearoa on Friday night, with things kicking off after 8pm. The last time a similar partial eclipse occurred in New Zealand skies was nearly 800 years ago

Golden ticket?

Monday and the idiocy of not driving

I missed the chance last week to drive either with Mary or Sam to pick up my meds on the way to the supermarket, and the pharmacy was closed on a Sunday. So on a super hectic Monday- with back to back to back to back soul-sucking Microsoft Teams meetings, I had to go on an Uber before lunch to pick them up.

Took nearly 40 minutes round-trip- on what looked like a normal pre-Covid-lockdown Monday- and $32 dollars.

But thank the Lord for little blessings like my boss finishing one approval meeting in under 12 minutes leaving me to pretend that I was busy for the next 45.

So I had time to make my current favourite way to cook noodles for a late lunch, as if it was ramen (this is Nasi Goreng) which is leave a little liquid on what is actually a dry sort of noodle, and to swirl in a dollop of butter. For protein, I topped it with a pan-fried salmon piece.

It was very satisfying and just enough to make me slightly forget I could have used that $32 Uber fare for salmon at just under a kilo.

Tuesday wish-list

1. Fruitcake

2. Lechon pork-belly ( I hope Doyet makes some for Noche Buena).

3. Getting to try out the Cordis’ hotel’s new wing

4. Losing at least 3kgs (haven’t budged from 73kgs).

5. Get to finish one of the dozen of stories I’m working on

6. Get to finish one creative work

7. Re-do the side garden

8. Get rid of this wisdom tooth in the most painless way possible

9. Been wanting to make leche-flan in like forever

10. Massive seafood dinner

11. Get to finish 5 books before year’s end

Ryan's Christmas Gift Registry

I don’t care about the critics- the current government still has a good grip on a situation that could be ten times worse (and a hundred times worse in other countries). The critics could either drop dead or catch Covid; either way, FUCK YOU and you don’t know squat. Anyhoo, a weird call today- level 3.2 which allows for some businesses to open (like malls!) and others to remain closed like restaurants (boo!) and cinemas (double boo!).

So if you’re an anti-vaxxer, you can go out on Wednesday and catch yourself some Covid- that will teach you.

I’ve done all my shopping and besides, the only times I go to a store is when I’m not sure of the fit or the fabric; I buy the majority of my clothes from the same labels so I know my fit 99% of the time. But yeah, going out there is like playing Covid roulette, and for what? For a pair of goddamned pants lol. Not worth it.

And speaking of shopping, here’s a list of stuff I’d like to by for myself if money is no object; after all dreaming is free…

Caviar Sturia - Vintage 50g

The Sturia Vintage caviar, symbolic caviar of Sturias know-how, allies subtlety and complexity of flavours persistent in mouth. It associates rounded firmness and an explosion in mouth of harmoniously fruity and iodized flavours. Simply serve on a spoon, the tin placed on a bed of ice $278

Rimowa Aluminium Cross-Body Bag

Made in Germany and crafted from ultra-resistant grooved aluminium, the RIMOWA Personal Aluminium Cross Body Bag in Silver features a unisex hard shell meant to house and transport your daily personal essentials.

Kenneth Cobonpue Boom Town Table lamp

Hundreds of tiny figurines come together to build this unique table lamp designed to highlight what we can achieve when we unite and work together. Salago fiber is applied by hand to add volume to a sculptural body of steel $2185

Saint Laurent Sac Du Jour

I WILL GET THIS BAG

New Apple

NZ$6,049

Zero electric motorcycle

Zero is adding more performance to the 2022 SR with increased battery capacity and more efficient architecture. The SR will get 14.4 kWh and 15.6 kWh battery options and a ZF 75-10 motor maying 74 horsepower and 122 lb-ft of torque, good for speeds of up to 104 MPH. Zero estimates 225 miles of range during city driving, and up to 113 miles at 70 MPH. Fully optioned with the Speed & Performance Boost and Power Tank, battery capacity hits 20.9 kWh for more two-wheeled adventure.

Saturday

I
Our barely one-year old (cheapish) washing machine broke. I had to hand-wash clothes in the old tub and had the vague feeling that the detergent was not meant for such a process. But I don’t live in a country where washing-machines are as common as TV sets and where I can go into a supermarket to buy special detergent meant for soaking and manual washing. I didn’t dawdle long- you just focus on two areas, the arm-pits and the crotch. Not that there’s anything nasty there. I change my clothes and underwear everyday still and I hardly sweat. The water was freezing and I discovered that while I can lift 30kg dumbbells I hardly had the strength to squeeze water out of the clothes.

My hands looked plump and bloated after, and I remember the hands of our old lavenderas back in Pangasinan, how worn and red they were. And the loads they did good Lord - denim, blankets and towels. And by the time the clothes were dry as they often did quicker in the tropics, it was mid-afternoon and the lavandera would be folding and sorting the clothes. I remember getting breads and sweets and Coke at the store, and we would eat and exchange gossip as we waited for my mother to arrive so they could be paid. I miss those days; no washing machine can surpass human hands.

II
We set up the Christmas tree today. Two years ago, we bought a cheaper one at Kmart, and it was black pine which we thought was chic. But part of me wasn’t convinced because I could see through its paltry 600 plus tips and it really bothered me. So last year I bit the bullet and bought a 3,000 tip, $700 (we got it 50% off so paid only $350) tree and I was finally satisfied. Christmas is one of the last things where you cut corners and compromised, which is kinda stupid because after the 25th has come and gone, it dawns on you that sentiment really has nothing to do with logic and reality. But I realised that this feeling is universal. Aucklanders- or so the media claims- are about to revolt that Christmas this year was going to be cancelled; and mistakenly by the government, and not by a virus that is lurking in all corners of the city. But from what I have seen, there is really nothing special about the way Kiwis celebrate Christmas- the food is crap, the gifts have a $20 cap and everyone gets drunk and pissed by Boxing Day. But habit and sentiment is all part of the tradition, isn’t it? Anyhow, I’m ready and prepared- 99% of all gifts have been bought and sorted, and an emergency menu has been worked out.

A broken washing machine and Covid are not the end of the world; but an ugly Christmas tree can be super annoying.

When you're feeling good, you want to shop

I’ve completed a week’s worth of ‘brisk’ walking, just under 2kms and 12 minutes.

Normally, I would think of a million excuses, but lately, in this pandemic, when it seems that you have all the time in the world, you get a sense that it’s a lie. You do it now, or it’s all lost, simple as that. Sometimes I feel great after and sometimes, it’s the same. But I guess, that’s what you call an investment; the cumulative rewards are in the end. Or so you hope.

But then, what else is there to do? It’s definitely more positive that agonising over Christmas; that you’re aching to watch Dune at the movies; that a restaurant meal would be nice; or go on a bus ride at 4pm; or sauntering into the supermarket. But it’s not your job to be angry at the bigger picture of why you can’t do these things. Leave that to the stupid politicians (FUCK YOU Judith Collins, FUCK YOU David Seymour) because that’s what they’re paid for.

Your job is you, and it’s not an easy one.

But thank God for small victories- studies have shown that exercise no matter how small, makes a difference- and I thought, hmmm, maybe I will reward myself.

But no I didn’t- this is just online window shopping- but who knows? You’re investing in yourself remember and that shouldn’t be a wasted purchase.

ABC Jogger 30" by Lululemon

I’ve been wearing athleisurewear since 2006 even before the term was coined. But the fabrics that Lululemon uses is unforgivingly honest- you need to be really fit to wear them with confidence

Take Form Yoga Mat by Lululemon

The innovative 3D-texture helps you feel your way around the mat and stay centred in poses without looking down; $145

Free Run Trail Thunder Blue by Nike

Another pair of shoes because why not? The Nike Free Run Trail combines orange airy mesh with soft Thunder Blue suede for a lightweight feel you can easily style. A bootie-like construction keeps the silhouette sleek and low profile, while a Cinnabar foam midsole provides unbelievable comfort.

T2 Matcha Flask Black

A stainless steel flask with a hidden matcha whisk! Load up with matcha and milk and shake it, baby!

T2 Ceremonial Matcha Whisk

Coz you need the real thing, $54

Turmeric Matcha from T2

Turmeric and matcha serve up a sip that's filled to the brim with good intentions. Grassy fresh matcha, earthy turmeric and sweet cinnamon combine to see you in fabulously fine form.

Golden Ray Glow Drops by Biography

Radiance-enhancing moisture, the Golden Ray drops are here to make you glow. Made from 100% sustainably sourced natural ingredients, these drops are perfect for all skin types. boosts collagen, improves elasticity, plumps-up suppleness, and blurs fine lines.

Energy Mushroom Capsules by Mother Made

This natural energy booster is here to be your best friend, helping you to perk up throughout your day. Cordyceps is perfect for athletes, gym bunnies and people who live their life in the fast lane.

Natural Marine Collagen Sachets Peach

Obsessed with collagen even if I still have to see any dramatic effects. Collagen is a product you should definitely have in your daily routine by now! With so many benefits such as reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, firming and plumping the skin, promoting nail and hair growth and so many more, it's an easy yes!

Immune Food Inner Beauty Support

Love yourself with The Beauty Chefs' new favorite product, Immune Food. Helping to provide you with a happy and healthy immune system. This Berry Banana flavoured blend uses the power of mushrooms which was used for centuries in Chinese healing traditions. The Beauty Chef never disappoints, this will be the perfect addition to your everyday routine.

It's just Tuesday, but I want it to be Wednesday

I thought it was Wednesday I guess because I had a full Monday. Full-on work-day; did a 2km brisk walk under 10 minutes; did yoga before bed. Over-achieving doesn't equate to some sort of time-travel. You wake up to a new day where you’re expected to do the same thing all over again.

And you ask yourself- will it really make a difference? If I spent the day doing the opposite, what would be the consequences of that? I started doing collagen supplements a couple of weeks back (I think I’ve mentioned this before) and every morning, I try to spot any tell-tale signs of its effects. So far, all I see is the same face- it’s a good face for sure, but that’s not what you want to see.

We all want something dramatically momentous to happen, but the universe doesn't seem to work that way.

I'm hungry

I reward myself with three things- tech, nice clothes and food.

Since I really need to think about retirement, I’ve put a sensible brake on the 1st two and as for the third, it’s kind of tricky, very tricky. In the Philippines, you can eat cheap, and it’s healthier. A bit of rice, heaps of vegetables and fish. I could live on that with pork barbecue and lechon once a month.

But eating healthy in New Zealand is expensive. You can count with your ten fingers, how many vegetables there are at any given time and even less in winter when your best bet is frozen. Seafood is not a staple and more of a luxury unless you were willing to rent a boat or go on a charter to catch your ow which is ridiculous. I love salmon but it’s not something you can eat every day and I’ve seen the price go up and up and up since 2008.

I avoid processed carbs, sugars and some fats (!), so essentially, my diet has come to consist of nothing but espresso in the morning; there was a couple of weeks at the start of this year’s lockdown when I had an oat-meal run, but I got sick of that; I would have the occasional bread, but would pick those fancy sprouted variants; for lunch, the previous night’s left-overs if there’s any would do; more coffee during the day and then dinner which is normally a protein and some carbs like rice or vegetables. I think I average less than 2,000 calories a day.

It’s a bit more than that during the weekend where I do have a proper lunch (sushi or a meal called Katsubi which is like sumo wrestler food but with more meats and veggies and less or no carbs; and then for dinner we rotate around chicken (baked chicken wings or air-fried), pork (belly) or beef roasts. And snacks! I love what they call crisps (potato chips) which I’ve started to lessen and ice-cream- I’m not completely lactose-intolerant and can finish off a whole container.

And because I don’t get enough vegetables, I’ve taken to taking fibre supplements along with four other supplements which I’ve been taking for the better part of 15-20 years.

But I’m hungry..I’m a hungry man…

Keep using it until it's manky. Don't.

Nothing makes you feel older than losing your teeth.

You can regenerate your skin (to a certain extent), you can start building even better muscles at way past your 40s, you can be slim forever (well, I am), but if your teeth are fucked, that’s it. Having fake teeth put in don’t count. I realised this yesterday when the dentist told me I needed to get an impacted wisdom tooth removed. I’ve been putting off going to the dentist for the longest time because I just couldn’t get over the cost of care in this country- and yet, here I am mulling whether to get a new pair of Yeezy’s.

So take heed, stop drinking coke with real sugar, quit smoking and book a dental clean ASAP. You can’t keep using your teeth until they’re manky like my bakeware which I threw out today (all of them save for a few, still good, far from manky spring-form pans) when a whole new set arrived today, bought from the Labour Weekend sale at Briscoes.

Notes on a long weekend

1. Didn't feel compelled to wake up early today as I’ve done most of the bigger chores the day before.

2. The weather forecast is overcast and some rain; staying-in-bed-weather

3. When I was younger, I spent the most part of the weekend in bed reading.

4. I should seriously read something more than the news (even if it’s the New York Times). Reality I’m beginning to think, is deadening to the soul.

5. I don’t feel the same way for movies though.

6. I’ve started on organising gifts; the budget seems to be growing bigger every year

7. How do you scale down on gifts though without looking like you’re watching your budget

8. But it’s my fault, to not have stuck to a budget and now you’re stuck there though I’m sure they won’t mind.

9. Saw someone in their car today smoking a real cigarette! Now that’s a sight you rarely see.