I lost my brand-new prescription glasses when we went to the mall to buy lunch.

I was wearing these shorts that I had only just adequately fit into- the cut aesthetically demanded more muscular upper thighs- which pleased me very much. The caveat was that the pockets were now very tight; the same pockets that I had slipped my glasses into, and my theory is that when I was walking, the glasses got pushed out of them without me not even realising.

Sam and I retraced our steps, asked staff at the shops we’ve been to if anyone had turned in a pair of glasses. But alas…

I’m convinced though I actually jinxed them. They weren’t my first choice. I felt that in an effort to please me, my optometrist and the office manager at OPSM offered a number of suggestions when all I wanted to get was a similar pair to my current ones which are these cheap Armanis in sturdy plastic. But it felt like I was put on the spot and you wanted to reward them for all their trouble and attention by picking their choices- so Ralph Lauren it was. They weren’t bad, but they were someone else’s choice. And they felt it from the day I picked them up. The frame was too light, the size was a tad too small, the transition lenses weren’t dark enough…

Driving back home that day from the mall, Sam wondered why I wasn’t that upset and I said why cry over an object that was ultimately replaceable? (they did cost over $1,200). It’s still money gone to waste, but the moral is (which actually is NOT wearing tight shorts whose fucking pockets you can’t use) you should reassess your life if you do end up being upset over losing a pair of glasses.